A Simple Method to Mastering Small Talk đ¤
A Simple Method to Mastering Small Talk đ¤
Issue #79: Small Talk Simplified. My First Growth Trip. Be in the Game.
đĄ Here are 3-tips to help you learn, grow, and be inspired this week!
đ Learn
As someone who's more comfortable in the quiet corners of a room than the bustling center of a party, I've always found small talk to be a bit of a struggle. But, like any other skill, it's something that can be improved with practice and the right strategies (at least, thatâs what Iâm telling myself đ).
In past posts, I've taken you along on my journey of overcoming the fear of public speaking and shared tips that have helped me, and a few tips for introverts, to thrive in both work and personal settings.
Today, I want to introduce you to a powerful method I discovered in Matt Abrahams' book, Think Faster, Talk Smarter: How to Speak Successfully When Youâre Put on the Spot. Matt's not just any expertâhe teaches at Stanford and knows a thing or two about effective communication.
Before we dive deeper, let's acknowledge the common fears or challenges we often face with small talk:
Fear of awkward silences.
Difficulty finding common topics.
Worry about being uninteresting.
I would recommend reading the book if you want to hone your social and communication skills. However, Iâll share the best frameworks from the book for effective communication with examples.
The Method : WhatâSo WhatâNow What
Make an argument or point (What): Donât start with the weather; tell them about you or your topic.
Describe the significance of this information (So What): Provide an interesting reason you brought up this topic.
Suggest what your audience might do given their new knowledge (Now What): Ask a question for them to engage with you.
Three Examples:
You are at a wedding and meet a stranger. They ask you where you are from â I was originally born in India but moved to the USA 5 years ago and lived in San Francisco for a few years, a few years in Virginia, and now lived in Austin, TX, since Apr 2023 [What]. Thatâs my way to experience all the coasts: east, west, and south. [So What] What cities have you lived in? [Now What]
You are at an event or conference â Iâm Anil Gupta, and Iâm from Austin, Texas [What]. Iâm really excited to learn about tonightâs topic because I have listened to several of the presentersâ podcast episodes [So what]. What got you interested in tonightâs topic [Now What]?
You are at a family gathering âWow, this corn dish is amazing [What]. Iâm always looking for new ways to prepare it [So what]. Whatâs your favorite dish [Now What]?
5 Tips:
Seek Comparable Levels of Self-Discloser: Share about yourself, too, when asking others questions.
Avoid putting other people on the spot: Ask questions out of curiosity, not like you're interviewing them.
Be a Team Player: Take turns talking.
Avoid Swipping Left Too Soon: Stay present and give the conversation some time to flow.
Reflect, question, and paraphrase to avoid offending them: Listen carefully, avoid assumptions, and clarify with questions.
Key Takeaway
Why is small talk especially daunting for us introverts at parties? It's not just the noise or the crowds; it's often the pressure to be spontaneously interesting. But with tools like the "WhatâSo WhatâNow What" framework, we can navigate these conversations with more confidence.
Here is a visual recap of this method:
đ Growth Tip
For the last few days, Iâve been staying in an old-school Texas cabin about an hour north of Austin for my first growth trip of 2024.
This growth trip? Absolutely game-changing. Not only did I crush a bunch of tasks, but I also had an incredible time soaking in lifeâs vibes in just 5 daysâŚand hung out with goats, deer, and other animals. đ
I read (and re-read) 6 books. But the real win? Going deep into those subjects and actually applying what I learned to both my business and personal life.
I wrote detailed guides and articles on a bunch of different topics.
And get thisâI've come up with over 70 new ideas and solutions (and got ~20% of them done) in the last 5 days to boost my agency, product, and personal brand.
So, my growth tip for the week?
Definitely, definitely try out this growth trip thing. You end up getting a ton done, and it's an epic experience, to say the least.
đ¤ŠÂ Inspiration
I donât think I need to add anything more to this!!
A small ask:
To get my Learn + Grow newsletter into the inbox of the people who need it most, I need your help.
If my content has been helpful, can you take thirty seconds right now and forward this to someone in your network?
It costs you no money(my favorite price) and only takes thirty seconds.
Thanks so much!
Anil
May the Peaceful Growth be with you! đŞ´